How I’m Navigating the Waves of Perimenopause

The first time I forgot why I went to the basement, I laughed. The fifth time that same day? Not so much. 

When the symptoms sneak up 

The changes crept in so slowly, I barely noticed — until I no longer recognized myself. There were all the usual suspects: 

• Sleep disruptions 
• Weight gain 
• Brain fog 
• Dry skin 
• Even the occasional flutters in my chest.  

All were issues I’d dealt with in the past (I haven’t been a great sleeper since I became a mom and the faintest noise from my kids in another room could stir me out of a sound sleep), so no one symptom raised any red flags for me.  

And they weren’t consistent. Some days I felt really off — like, how many times in a day can I drag myself down to the basement to get a can of tomato paste, or switch the laundry, or some other task, and then stand there wondering what it was I came for? Answer: MANY.  

But other days? I’d feel okay. Even great. So, I did what so many of us do. I chalked it up to stress, a busy work week, getting older, being a mom, and being a human.  

The aha moment 

At some point, though, it dawned on me that this wasn’t just a “weird day”. I started to normalize the symptoms. Sometimes they were worse, sometimes better, but they were definitely there. And the tide was coming in.  

I realized I’d come to expect waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning and not falling back asleep for at least an hour. I’d toss and turn in the dark, sometimes so hot my husband called me an oven. And if I ever slept through the night, it felt like a miracle. I marveled at the idea that for much of my life, I could count on closing my eyes when my head hit the pillow and not opening them again until the sun came up.  

And then there were the body changes.  

Weight gain in new places for no identifiable reason. I love good food, like so many of us. And as a dietitian who focuses on mindful eating, I’ve always made a point of listening to my hunger and satiety cues and giving my full attention to my meals. That hadn’t changed.

But my body was changing anyway. New curves were showing up, and I couldn’t wear some of my old pants because the waistbands were getting too tight.  

It took a while before I had my aha moment: this is perimenopause. 

Life doesn’t pause for perimenopause 

I was about 45 when the symptoms started and hadn’t given menopause much thought. Between two tween and teenage kids, my husband, two dogs, and leaning into my business, I didn’t exactly have time to pause and take stock of myself. I just kept moving. 

And perimenopause isn’t linear — it’s a moving target. Every morning I wake up, I don’t know if it will be one of those days when I’ll forget my neighbor’s name while chatting over the fence (yes, this happens, people!), if I’ll have to apply moisturizer at least 20 times and still have lizard skin, or if I’ll feel like my husband is literally the most annoying human on Earth (spoiler: he’s not, and I’ll love him again tomorrow).  

What helped me cope 

Once I pieced together the pieces of what was happening — that these changes weren’t my fault, but the result of shifting hormones in my body — I felt some relief. I’ve always believed that identifying the problem is half the battle. Once I knew what I was dealing with, I did two things: I stopped blaming myself and then I took action. 

Strength training 

My friends had been trying to convince me to join them in a strength training class for a while. I’ve recommended strength training to my clients for years — it helps build and maintain muscle, strengthens bones, and supports healthy metabolism. But frankly, I’ve always found it kind of boring. Lift heavy things up and down over and over again? No thanks.  

But I also knew how important strength training is during perimenopause and menopause. And the class was close by. “It’ll be fun!” my friends said. Literally, no excuses.  

I always felt better walking home from strength class than I did when I left. But the moment I really understood its impact came months later while gardening in my backyard. I filled my giant green watering can and lifted it to water the potted plants. And it felt lighter. A lot lighter. And then it hit me — wait, the watering can isn’t lighter, I’m stronger. I was sold.  

Nutrition and supplements 

I’m still working on managing the other symptoms. I continue to eat well, get plenty of protein and fiber, listen to my hunger and satiety cues, and try not to worry about the ways my reflection in the mirror is changing.  

I’ve been taking creatine after learning it helps maintain muscle, supports bone health, and improves cognitive function and sleep during menopause — and may also help those of us experiencing perimenopause.  

Talk to your doctor before starting any supplements. 

Sleep hacks 

I’ve discovered a breakthrough, life-changing sleep hack (I jest only a little, because this has truly been a game-changer for me) — earplugs. Seriously, how have I ever slept without them? Also, fewer glasses of red wine with dinner (sigh). 

Community 

One of the best ways I’ve found to support myself during perimenopause is also one of the simplest — spending time with friends who can relate. The camaraderie helps us approach the symptoms and changes with more humor. We laugh, support, and sweat together as we each navigate the menopause transition on our own timelines.  

Learning to swim with the tide 

Perimenopause is a journey. I know I won’t resolve every symptom, but understanding what my body is going through and making small lifestyle tweaks has helped me give myself grace, worry a bit less, appreciate the days when I do feel great, and trust that when I’m having an off day, things will change again tomorrow.  

The tide is still coming in, but I’m learning how to swim with it.