Strategies for Navigating Menopause Rage and Anger

Wonder why you’re feeling so angry lately? Menopause might be the answer. For many, the signature mood swings of menopause can swing all the way to uncontrollable rage.

Medical blogs and doctors have done a good job of helping people prepare for night sweats, hot flashes, and vaginal dryness. However, we talk about the mental health aspect of menopause less often. Menopause rage is one of the most overlooked symptoms of menopause and people may feel embarrassed to talk about it.   

Learning to manage anger and rage can help you maintain a sense of well-being. It's also vital for healthy relationships. Here's everything you need to know about menopause anger. 

What is menopause rage?  

Menopause rage is intense emotional overwhelm tied to hormone shifts and life stress. It’s not just about being angry. Some people experience rage as sudden and extreme angry outbursts that are uncharacteristic of that person.  

After "blowing up" at someone, you may feel ashamed or remorseful. It's easy to feel like menopause and perimenopause anger are the result of a character flaw or emotional shortcoming. In reality, the connection between menopause and anger is widely believed to be hormonally based. Estrogen affects the brain’s emotional center (like the amygdala) and these feelings are biologically rooted and not a personal flaw. 

How menopause rage may manifest 

Menopause rage can manifest in many ways. See if any of these common ways menopause rage can manifest feel familiar to you: 

• Suddenly irritated by small sounds or habits of those around you. 
• Feeling resentful and stressed because all the household responsibilities fall on you. 
• Feeling frustrated you can't complete tasks as easily as you could before. 
• Being angered when walking into your home to find it messy after you've spent all day working. 
• "Raging out" when a person cuts you off in traffic, cuts the line at a store, or behaves rudely towards you. 
• You raised your voice or shouted at someone when you didn't intend to do it. 
• Excessive crying over disappointments. 
• Wanting to lash out at people around you. 

What causes menopause anger? 

If you’re having mood changes related to menopause, you might be wondering what’s causing them. Menopause anger triggers can be specific to the person experiencing feelings of rage. However, it’s common for external factors to make you feel angry. Several factors can contribute to menopause rage and anger.  

Hormonal fluctuations  

During menopause, estrogen production dips significantly. This dip can affect several important neurotransmitters in the brain, including serotonin, glutamate, and GABA. These chemicals are involved in mood regulation. Changes in these chemical levels can result in dramatic mood and personality changes. 

Lack of sleep  

Menopause anger issues aren’t surprising to anyone who has ever tried to get through a day without getting much sleep. Unfortunately, sleep deprivation is quite common during menopause because of the night sweats and hormonal fluctuations that impact sleep. In fact, a 2005 study found that up to 60% of perimenopausal and postmenopausal women have sleep problems. When you don’t sleep well, it leads to feelings of fatigue and irritability and a reduced tolerance for annoyances. 

Mental health conditions  

The hormonal changes that take place during menopause can trigger depression. One of the main symptoms of depression is anger. Menopause may also make anger and mood symptoms worse in people already diagnosed with mental health conditions. 

A 2021 study found that 82% of women struggling with mild depression who were going through perimenopause experienced irritability. Those with bipolar disorder often experience increases in symptoms during the perimenopause and menopause transition. These symptoms may include irritability, anger, and rage.  

Identity shifts and emotional load  

Finally, it's important not to overlook the fact that perimenopause and menopause represent a significant crossroads in a person's life. For many, this physical transition is also marked by many personal transitions. This can include watching children leave the home, thinking about retiring from a job that creates purpose, or struggling to care for aging parents.  

It’s also common to feel displaced in your life when you have physical changes or health problems. The uncertainty can contribute to feelings of rage or anger. 

Menopause can also shift how we experience intimacy, touch, and connection. Many people feel emotionally withdrawn or disconnected from their bodies, which naturally affects sexual desire and can feel really frustrating. Normalizing these shifts can help couples explore new ways to connect without pressure. 

Strategies for managing menopause rage and anger 

How long does menopause rage last? Unfortunately, there isn’t a timeline for menopause and anger symptoms. Most people find that hormonal fluctuations last for the entire perimenopause phase. Without proper management, emotional changes could last until hormones stabilize postmenopause.  

However, there's no need to simply live with the emotional and relationship collateral damage that can occur before then. Here's a look at ways to manage menopause anger issues. 

Regular exercise

Exercise has mood-boosting potential at any life stage. A 2023 study found that people engaged in exercise showed greater improvements in symptoms of depression. This included those who regularly participated in walking, resistance training, Pilates, or yoga. There's also evidence that lots of physical activity may help reduce symptoms of menopause. 

Talk to your healthcare provider

There are several treatment options your doctor might suggest. Menopause hormone therapy (MHT) may help manage certain symptoms, which may in turn make the emotional side of menopause a bit easier to handle. Antidepressants or mood-stabilizing medications may also be options to consider.  

Pay attention to your diet

Keeping your blood sugar levels normal may help you avoid food-induced mood crashes during menopause. Getting vital nutrients is also important. Some research suggests that gut-healthy foods may help improve mood in middle-aged women. This comes on top of research showing that low-glycemic-index foods reduce risk for depression in those going through menopause. Examples of low-glycemic foods include vegetables and foods high in fiber.  

Consider dietary supplements

Mood-supportive nutrients like omega-3s and magnesium glycinate may also help with emotional balance. 

Reduce your coffee intake

If hot flashes are keeping you up, consider skipping coffee. A 2015 study showed a link between caffeine intake and higher occurrences of night sweats and hot flashes. 

Seeking help and support 

Bottling up your experience with menopause and rage can make the struggle harder. Letting those around you know of your struggles can provide relief. Start with those closest to you.  

Your partner or children may feel like they need to walk on eggshells around you. They may not understand why you're triggered. Talk to them about what you’re going through. If the problem feels bigger than you can handle, consider finding a therapist to help.  

Trained mental health professionals, like Dr. Chavez, can use a variety of different therapies to help people dealing with deeper emotional triggers: 

• Internal family system (IFS). A trauma-informed therapy that helps people explore different “parts” of themselves (such as anger, fear, or protectiveness). This can help increase emotional regulation and self-compassion. 
• Somatic therapy. Focuses on the mind-body connection, using body-based awareness and movement to release stored tension and trauma. This may be helpful during hormonally-driven emotional dysregulation. 
• Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy. Combines cognitive therapy with mindfulness to help individuals observe emotional triggers without over-identifying with them. This may be helpful for mood swings, anxiety, and menopausal depression. 

Prioritize stress management 

For some people, menopause can be a period of reflection and joy. For others, this period is marked by stress caused by worries about brain fog, a lack of sleep, and other issues.  

This is a time to prioritize self-care and stress management. For you, this might look like setting boundaries about your time and energy. It could also mean prioritizing wellness and physical activity.