Are you ready to have “the talk” with your kids about what you’re experiencing but aren’t sure how? Not “that” talk, but the one where you explain what menopause is? Well then, you’ve come to the right place. Just like sex, menopause is a natural part of life, yet it's often a taboo topic.
In this article, we'll equip you with the tools you need to have a productive and supportive conversation with your kids about this important topic. Read on!
What to say
When talking to your kids about menopause, it's important to be open and honest so you can empower your children to better understand some of what you may be experiencing.
- Explain what menopause is in simple terms. Share that menopause is a natural part of life, when a female’s body stops making eggs, that usually happens between the ages of 45 and 55.
- Reassure your kids that you're still the same person. Even though you may be having new symptoms and experiences that they haven’t witnessed before, you’re still you. Let them know that you still love them and you're still there for them.
- Be honest about your physical and emotional changes. Explain your specific symptoms to them so they can make sense of why you may be acting differently. But be sure to use age-appropriate language and explanations.
- Encourage them to ask questions. Let them know that you're open to talking about anything they want to know.
Remember, menopause is a shared journey, and involving your kids in this conversation can strengthen your bond and create a supportive environment within your family. If you have a daughter and are curious about specific ways to speak with her about menopause, check out our article on Mothers & Daughters: How to Talk About Menopause and Hormones.
When to share
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of when to talk to your kids about menopause. However, there are a few key factors to consider that can help you make the decision.
- Think about your child’s age and maturity level. The younger your child is, the less ready they may be to understand. However, if your child is a teenager or young adult, they may be more curious and interested in learning about your experiences.
- Acknowledge if your menopause symptoms are impacting your daily life. If so, it may be helpful to talk to your child about what you’re going through. This can help them understand why you may be feeling different, and you can work together to help find ways they can be more supportive.
- Know if your child has heard about menopause from someone other than you. Maybe they read about it on social media or heard something from a friend or other family member. This is a great reason to start an open conversation about your own experience.
How to start a conversation
The goal of this conversation is to help your child understand what you're going through. So how can you best do that?
- Choose a good time. You want to make sure that your child is relaxed and has time to talk and process. It's also important to find a private place to talk so your child can feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.
- Be honest and straightforward. Explain how you’re feeling in simple terms and make sure to go at their pace. Share what makes sense without going into too much detail.
- Answer all questions your child may have. Be patient as they process this information. It's also important to be sensitive to your child's feelings and avoid saying anything that could make them feel uncomfortable.
- Bring in support. If you think it would be helpful for your child to hear from or have the support of another adult, ask your partner/spouse or other trusted adult to join you for the conversation.
How to handle their reactions
It's natural for your children to have a range of reactions when you talk to them about menopause. Some may be curious and want to know more, while others may be embarrassed or even scared. Here are a few tips on how to handle their reactions.
- Reassure them that these changes are a natural part of life. Explain that menopause is a normal process and that it doesn't mean that you're sick or that it means anything bad is going to happen.
- Validate their feelings. Let your children know that it's okay to feel however they're feeling, whether it's sadness, anger, or confusion.
- Encourage them to talk to you or another trusted adult if they have questions or concerns. Make sure they know that you're there for them and that you're happy to answer any questions they have. You can also suggest that they talk to another trusted adult, such as a teacher or a grandparent.
- Be understanding. It may take time for your children to process this information and accept that you're going through menopause. Be patient and understanding as they work through their feelings.
Remember, you’re the one going through this change so you can control the narrative. Being open, finding the right time, and having patience are all key ingredients to having a successful “menopause talk” with your kids.
