By Susan LaScala Wood • Published 11/13/2023
Medically Reviewed by Dr. Shannon Chavez, PsyD, CST
As we age, there are lots of things we might not be able to do like we used to. Activities we’ve always enjoyed, like travel, exercise — and yes, sex — can become more challenging. But that doesn’t mean we should stop doing them altogether. We just might need to make a few adjustments.
We might need to change the types of places we choose to travel to —while making sure they’re equally spectacular. We might choose a brisk walk instead of a long run. And we may decide to start keeping personal lubricant near our bed. In this article, we’re focusing on that last one. We want to help people who’ve been using lube better understand their options — and help others know where to start.
As you may have already discovered, menopause can really get in the way of a romantic evening. As we age, some of us may experience vaginal dryness. During menopause, vaginal tissue becomes thinner and less flexible, and the body produces less lubrication than it did before. All of this can make having sex painful and do the opposite of put you “in the mood”. A personal lubricant (otherwise known as “lube”) can come in different materials that can help reduce friction and make having sex more comfortable and enjoyable.
There are also products out there called vaginal moisturizers. You should always read and follow the label and instructions for these products. But in general, they can be used a few times a week to help vaginal tissues retain moisture more effectively. Hand or body lotions should not be used as a substitute because they can easily irritate the vaginal tissues.
Even if you’ve used a personal lubricant in the past, chances are you may not have spent a lot of time browsing the various bottles and squeeze tubes lining the drugstore aisle. You have just spotted a familiar brand and quickly added it to your shopping basket before anyone else could see (Hey, we’ve done it, too). But personal lubricants aren’t one-tube-fits-all. As the name makes clear, they’re personal. So, finding the right type of lube shouldn’t be a rushed endeavor. It should be an educated one, where you can confidently choose the product that helps meet your needs and preferences. And trust that you’re not the only one interested in learning more.
So, get ready to take notes because we’re going in — to the big, wonderful world of personal lubricants. Learn pros and cons of several types to find the one that may be right for you.
And of course, feel free to talk to your doctor or other healthcare provider if you have questions or concerns about your use or choice of a lubricant.
Water-based lubes that contain glycerin are popular, but there are also glycerin-free options for those who are prone to frequent yeast infections. Water-based lubes are the most natural feeling lubricant and one of the most popular.
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These are a blend of water-based and silicone-based lubricants. They provide the feeling of a water-based lubricant but won’t dry out as quickly.
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Oil-based lubes contain many readily available products, such as kitchen oils. They are the least commonly used lubricants.
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If you’re new to lube, water-based can be a good place to start, but it can also be fun to experiment a bit to see which kind works best for you. Read the product label for more complete information and follow the instructions on how to use it.
While lubricant usage is generally quite safe, a few things to keep in mind as you explore which may work best for you:
Now that you’re armed with personal lube knowledge, it’s time to hit the drugstore (or your favorite online retailer) — confidently — and start enjoying sex again. Who knows – maybe this was the nudge your sex life needed?
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